career | Katalyst

The Power of Words and Images…

Jul 122012

I find that creating really compelling business and emotionally persuasive writing requires me to have a similar approach to my writing as my friend who is a fantastic graphic artist has to creating an evocative new brand image. She paints beautiful works of art in her spare time, which feeds her creative ideas for generating striking branding collateral. In order to be insightful in my business and nonprofit writing, I write fiction stories, poems and – right now – I am writing a screenplay. It gets those creative juices moving in the right direction.

I learned a long time ago that writing is like painting a canvas, creating a symphony or choreographing a dance. There are requisites that we must all attend to in order to be expansive and deep – no matter what we create. I would never suggest that writing a screenplay is more important than writing a really compelling sales letter. I am a writer and I always hope that the words I write will evoke emotion, ideas, thought and action. That is what matters to me, not the format I am writing in. I put the same energy and thoughtfulness into a blog post as I do a poem – because I am attached to the outcome. I want my client to call me and say, “Wow! That blog post got thousands of hits and shares and people contacted us wanting to know more!” – just like I want to write a poem that makes someone comment with, “Wow! That poem really touched me!”

Have you ever read something that was technically correct but didn’t move you? Of course you have. We’re surrounded by emotionless words in the advertising, business reports, marketing emails, proposals and web content we’re exposed to every day. It’s awful. So, we just read over it and move on. But every now and then something grabs us and pulls us in. It sparks an interest. It makes us think. It creates an image in our minds. Sometimes it even makes us take action. That’s powerful!

Words and images are powerful when they are honest – which is probably why I am a writer and photographer. Not because I seek power, but because I seek to move people with words and images. I want you to feel something when you read my words or view my photos. How do you see it? Feel it?

Here’s a photo I shot recently. Tell me what it makes you feel. What do you see? What thoughts does it conjure up for you? Write a poem about it if you like. Whatever you share is yours and yours alone, with my gratitude.

Thank you in advance for sharing!

“10 Reasons Why Women Make Better Entrepreneurs”

Business & Marketing, Uncategorized, Women in Biz, Work 4 Responses »

Oct 202011

As a woman entrepreneur, I found this article an interesting and validating read and thought you might too! – Kat

by Adelaide Lancaster

I’ve heard one too many female entrepreneurs preface a challenge they’ve had with the statement “maybe it’s just because I’m a woman but I find it hard to”…(you can fill in the blank): ask for what I want; settle for something less than perfect; not to try to do it all myself. These statements make me cringe. I’m not a fan of sweeping gender generalizations and I’m certainly not keen on women attributing their challenges (challenges that many people experience by the way) to the fact that they are female. Women entrepreneurs get enough flak for not being more like men without us jumping on the bandwagon ourselves.
I can’t say whether any of the oft-recited gender stereotypes are true (“scientific” studies always seem to be contradictory in their findings), but let’s pretend for a moment that they are. Then let’s pretend that these differences aren’t deficits (gasp) and instead are assets. What if gender differences made women even better business owners? It’s not hard to make a compelling case.

Let’s take a stab at it. Here are 10 reasons why women are better entrepreneurs:

1. Women are better connectors.
A stronger network means they will be better resourced throughout the life of the venture. By leveraging their connections, they will have to reinvent the wheel less and learn fewer lessons the hard way.

2. Women are better at multitasking.
They can work towards multiple priorities and balance multiple roles simultaneously. They won’t shy away from a full plate and will be equipped to handle the multifaceted job of entrepreneur.

3. Women are perfectionists.
They have high standards and won’t settle for mediocre efforts or results. The business will save money and time because haphazard mistakes and sloppy work will be avoided in the first place.

4. Women take others into consideration.
They build businesses that deliver value for multiple stakeholders – customers, employees, investors, and founders. They aren’t out for purely their own gain and their “put others’ first” attitude will net tremendous loyalty for the business in the long run.

5. Women think success comes from hard work not just from being “awesome.”
They are willing to do what it takes to hit the mark and they don’t let their egos get in the way. Failures, which are inevitable, spark a redoubling of efforts, not a crisis of self-worth.

6. Women share the credit.
They build companies where employees feel valued for their contributions and input.

7. Women second guess themselves.
They consult others about important decisions to make sure they aren’t overlooking something. They won’t be afraid to change course if new information or learning is brought to light.

8. Women don’t take as many risks.
This means that the ones they do take are more calculated and well thought out. They won’t over-extend the company by chasing bright shiny objects or the latest hottest idea.

9. Women don’t fiercely negotiate for the best they can get.
They understand that the price paid or received isn’t the whole story. They think about value more broadly and understand the price that relationships and the process requires.

10. Women value their life outside of work.
Their commitment to their company is only enhanced by having a full life outside of work. They know that friends and families are an important part of overall satisfaction and that the costs of burnout are significant for both themselves and the company.

Certainly this isn’t true of all women. All of it may not even be true for one woman. But any of it could be just as true as the current deficit model that many of us subscribe too. Further consideration of our assumptions is warranted when we assume that any differences, if true, are instant liabilities – qualities to apologize and compensate for. So, the next time you hear a woman apologize for being a woman, offer one of these alternate interpretations as a reason for her success.

————

Adelaide Lancaster is an entrepreneur, speaker and co-author of The Big Enough Company: Creating a business that works for you (Portfolio/Penguin). She is also the co-founder of In Good Company Workplaces, a first-of-its-kind community, learning center and co-working space for women entrepreneurs in New York City. She is a writes a blog for Forbes.com and is a contributor to The Daily Muse. She lives in Philadelphia, PA with her husband and daughter.

Follow Adelaide Lancaster on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ingoodcmpny

Life. And Other Plans…

Lifestyle, Updates, Work 5 Responses »

Jul 092011

It’s been too long since my last post! I have resolved to be better at blogging, despite my hectic days, because I love to write. It reboots my brain.

Lately, I’ve been writing a lot of client press releases, brand messaging, media stories and the like. It’s very rewarding to be able to write for a living, but sometimes I really just need to write what’s in my head and not a PR or marketing piece.

I have started a book and I am debating posting some excerpts or chapters here. The book is about the valuable lessons I’ve learned in my life so far – and there are some BIG ones! I never really thought my experiences were all that unique, but apparently they are (according to many friends, family members and colleagues who gasp when I tell them some of the gory details). Recent events and urging from those same friends and family members have pushed me to write it all down.

So, you will see this blog return to its former format where I share more openly the things I’ve learned through experiences I’ve had – including my favorite photos. Last fall I decided to stop posting a lot of the personal stuff here because I was in the middle of a contentious divorce and my ex-spouse (a trial lawyer) was digging for anything he could find to try to damage my integrity. I am hoping that he has now moved forward with his life and will find his own peace and joy. I know that I have. I wish the same for him.

If you enjoyed the social media, marketing and business pieces I’ve contributed to Katalyst Blog recently, you can still find them on my company’s website blog at www.hipchameleon.com. I will still write about the ups and downs of launching and running a business here – but those posts will be personal anecdotes, just like nearly everything else I post on Katalyst Blog.

As many of you already know, I launched a Marketing and PR firm with two partners in January 2011. After about three months of pretty stable success, we decided that having only two partners worked better for our lives. It was too hard to make decisions with three people and we didn’t all agree on the direction of the business or how to divvy up the workload fairly. My partner, Brett Greene, and I agree quite nicely on the direction of Hip Chameleon, how to meet our client deadlines and what services we want to offer. It also helps that he is an experienced social media adviser and a prolific writer. We’ve taken Hip Chameleon in the direction of specializing in digital marketing and social media, because we believe that’s where the world is heading, we’re passionate about making strong, personal connections online, and we want to help take our clients there where they can meet and help their current and future customers/clients. It’s turning out to be an excellent fit for us.

After only six months in business, Hip Chameleon is doing very well. We have had some wonderful clients and some slightly odd ones too – but that’s what makes this work interesting. I wouldn’t enjoy working with just one personality type all of the time anyway. Some clients are deeply engaged in every step we take, while others just hand us the reigns and say, “Drive!” We like both approaches, as long as we are treated like the experts we are.

In addition to writing a book, leading social media and digital marketing workshops, diving into a web developer program and managing our company, I am also creating a natural, organic skin care product line that I’m very excited about. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do and know a good deal about. After using my homemade concoctions on myself for years, I finally decided that the time has come to share them – but more on that later!

For now, I just wanted to check in, let you know what’s happening on my end and ask you how you’re doing on yours.

So, how are you doing? What new or exciting thing is happening for you? Let’s talk!

Namaste,

Kat

You can call yourself an Entrepreneur when…

Business & Marketing 1 Response »

Jan 102011

I loved this post from James Altucher: You can call yourself an Entrepreneur when… Altucher Confidential - especially since I am getting very little sleep these days, as I launch my business, Hip Chameleon PR & Marketing, with my partners.

I go to bed late, wake up early (wake up in a panic at 4 am over a line I think I left out of the last proposal I sent out) and think about our clients and our business all of the time! I forget to eat and only exercise sporadically these days – which is the one thing I am severely missing – my daily runs that reboot my brain. I will have to do something about that.

Still, despite every true word Altucher (@jaltucher) writes about the craziness of being an entrepreneur, I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. I am my favorite boss. I’m tough on myself, without being condescending or mean. I know what I expect and I do my best to deliver. I freely give credit where credit is due, without fretting that someone is out to make me look bad. I allow myself to show up for work in slippers and take as many breaks for a fresh cup of coffee or tea as I want. I am grateful for my partners – especially for the wisdom and experience they bring. And when a client asks for help with something, I just do it. I don’t have to ask anyone else for permission or worry about whose toes I may be stepping on.

Less sleep is a fair trade for freedom and inner satisfaction. Now if I could just find time to get the darned company website done!

Namaste,

Kat

Understanding How New Moms Share – eMarketer.com

Business & Marketing, Communications, Social Networking No Responses »

Nov 222010

New mothers are a target sales demographic and, overall, they spend a lot of time on the web (since they are a captive audience while their children nap and they have no where else to go).

We’ve all heard or read the term Mommy Bloggers- and they are a force to be reckoned with.

In doing some client social media marketing research, I have discovered that many of the most entertaining, informative and useful blogs on the web derive from mothers who have made blogging a regular part of their daily lives. They share everything from recipes and money saving tips to information on childhood illnesses and postpartum depression – and those are just the “mom” categories I’ve discovered. I have enjoyed reading self-described mom bloggers who are also gifted artists, photographers, eBay Power Sellers, craftswomen and shrewd business women who gave up the corporate life to work from home and raise their children…sans the nanny.

In my public relations work with bloggers, I advise clients not to sell blogging moms short for what they can contribute to sales, marketing and promoting brands. Many a mom blogger I’ve come across holds an advanced degree, has written a book or two, advises large overseas corporations via Skype conferencing and would handily kill a snake in her kitchen with her Hanna Andersson clog, while stirring the spaghetti sauce and bouncing her baby on her hip.

Moms are great at sharing information with anyone who will listen. Actually, lots of women fall into that characterization – whether they have children or not. What is unique about the mom bloggers is that they are spending a good deal of time communicating with each other, friends and family via the social web.

Here’s a breakdown from eMarketer.com:

Read more in this timely article: Understanding How New Moms Share – eMarketer.

Working Overtime

Business & Marketing 4 Responses »

Nov 012010

A friend and I were talking shop the other day about how much our careers have changed in just a year. For a while we were both working as marketing and PR executives in different corporate offices earning six-figure incomes and feeling grateful that we’d finally “made it.” Then in 2009 we both lost our jobs in what I refer to as the “Great American Non-essential Employee Layoff.”

For over a year my friend and I both worked as consultants after we were laid off. We swapped client stories and whined about how low our hourly rates had dropped and how much time we were spending chasing down invoice payments. Then I was offered a staff position with an agency and left my friend with my list of former clients, who I knew could not pay my new agency fees.

My friend didn’t know whether to feel jealous or sorry for me because, while consulting work offers a lot more freedom than being required to show up to an office every day, it also causes sleepless nights spent worrying when a client doesn’t pay you. On the other hand, while the regular job offers some degree of financial security and a sense of being part of a team, it also makes you vulnerable again to industry changes over which you have lost the flexibility to adapt because other people are making those decisions.

The “essentials” who remained after our layoffs were staff-level employees who churned out project work for under $35,000 a year and the C-level bosses who were being told by their CEOs and boards to make big budget cuts during a tanking economy. So, they cut us – the D-level middle managers who kept the workflow going, managed lean departmental budgets and our staffs, who were unhappy they’d not be getting year-end bonuses after all. We worked directly with the clients and customers, reported up and down the corporate food chain, solved daily problems and put out fires, then flew economy across the country for client and regional office meetings, stayed in Marriott hotels and carpooled in compact rental cars.

After the 2008-09 sweep of layoffs, companies started bringing in the very people they let go to do the very tasks they once did on salary, but now as underpaid consultants. That opened up some opportunities for the unemployed, but it also created a Dixie Cup throw away approach to staffing.

I’m not entirely blaming the employers, by the way. They create the office culture that they prefer and we sign on in return for a regular paycheck. We may grumble as we gather around the company microwave, where we heat up our frozen lunch entrees, before taking them back to our desks to continue working; but we generally don’t challenge the culture that exists for fear of losing our “secure” jobs.

I have news for you… nothing is secure about “regular” employment any longer.

Multinational CEOs are being shown the door if company stocks tank, along with formerly regaled sports coaches who dare to have two losing seasons in a row, as well as the 20-year veteran executive administrator who doesn’t know what a Tweet is, but knows every detail of the last CEO’s flight preferences, his wife’s birthday and how his dog died.

Any more there seems to be little fiscal value placed on actually training someone in a job, but an inexplicable value in finding where an employee went wrong and letting them know that they’ve been “put on notice” not to make the same mistake again. After all, your replacement is just a resume review and a phone call away.

I used to walk into companies as a management consultant, review their hiring practices, look at their employee workloads, assess their staffing and skill deficits, review their team performances against their objectives and then make recommendations about where to cut, hire, reward, fire, develop and train. That was when companies actually recognized that high turnover is costly in terms of lost productivity, repetitive training time, new hire compensation gaps, decreased company morale, lost business, project delays and bad publicity (sometimes disgruntled present and former employees complain with a megaphone). I didn’t even name every real and hidden cost of high turnover because it would just be piling on. You get the point.

When I was studying business management in college the mantra then was that successful businesses excelled by developing company loyalty among employees. Employees who love their jobs engender the best word-of-mouth publicity a Marketing Director can get. Low turnover keeps staffing costs down, productivity values high, and clients and customers happy. No customer appreciates that Customer Service Sue solves their product problems in July only to have New Hire Sam mess things up again in November. They want to know that Sue is still there and has their back if something goes wrong again.

Don’t get me wrong. If Sue drinks on the job and swears at her teammates, she may be a candidate for firing. Sam, on the other hand, may just need some additional training and time to learn the system before becoming a stellar employee. I am not suggesting that no one should ever be terminated from their job. I’m just recommending that employees not be viewed as disposable as Dixie Cups. One is not always just as good as another.

Sometimes, when given a chance, people can really surprise you with how intelligent, creative and resourceful they can be at a task that would not ordinarily fall within their job description.

As a fundraising executive, I once asked a administrative assistant – who lacked a high school diploma and whose second language was marginal English – to help me write a very challenging grant narrative for a million dollar request of a national financial institution. I needed another brain helping me on the subject and I didn’t want to keep revisiting the same well that came up with the same stagnant ideas.

My assistant shyly refused to write anything, but sat down with me and talked about her own experiences and ideas on the topic while I took notes. It was the best grant I’d ever written and I owed much of that success to my assistant. Even better than helping me to win the grant for our agency, she was very pleased to have found a new sense of pride in her work and in her unique abilities. Not long after, she stayed after normal work hours to learn a complex client management software program that made her even more valuable as an employee and gave her a sense of accomplishment. She did resign later, however – to complete her high school degree while also attending community college. I can accept turnover for reasons as good as that.

I really admire companies I learn about through my wide-range of friends, clients, colleagues and contacts that demonstrate how much they value their people. A few weeks ago I was touring some of the senior residential facilities of a national client agency. My tour guide mentioned that they have more employees going on 10 years of service than on 2, and that they’d just celebrated more than 10 people in one regional office who’d been with the company more than 20 years. As we got on the elevator, this senior executive got into a lively conversation with a woman who had been working in the laundry facilities for 12 years. It was a conversation of mutual respect and appreciation for what each of them did in their work. I was impressed. Every company should strive to create such a respectful environment among their employees – regardless of who sits in a high-rise office, hauls a laundry bag or pushes the mail cart.

Hanging on to well-trained, hard-working employees and rewarding them for their service is a whole lot more cost-effective and productive than installing a revolving door on the HR office to accommodate high staff turnover. Just run the numbers; but don’t forget to run the hidden ones I’ve mentioned too. People are not Dixie Cups. Just because you can reload the dispenser doesn’t mean you’re not being wasteful.

Wishing you all tremendous success in your endeavors!

Kat

See this great Inc. Magazine article, which illustrates my point.

“To create happy, satisfied, and loyal customers, you need happy, satisfied and engaged employees. Create a work environment where employees don’t feel appreciated, respected, or well-equipped to do their jobs, and you’re guaranteed to drain them of energy and passion.”

shortlink: http://www.katalystblog.com/?p=918

New Media Gardening for Businesses and Brands

Business & Marketing, Social Networking No Responses »

Jun 212010

Because I am also a Marketing & Communications Specialist having a focus on new media (i.e, the social web) and the metrics marketers use to evaluate the worthiness of communication tools and vehicles, I found this article interesting and worth sharing: The new advertising metrics – iMediaConnection.com.

The way that we market to consumers has evolved immensely since I first began in MarComm. While I believe that a marketer should not toss out the poppies with the dandelions by forgoing traditional marketing strategies in favor of only new media vehicles, I also believe that any marketer avoiding new media for whatever reason will go the way of the Cooksonia – and quite foolishly so. New media and the social web that is the asteroid hurling towards us cannot and should not be ignored or marginalized by marketing professionals nor brands.

Likewise, I have discovered that not everyone who claims to be a new media or social media marketing wizard is as they purport to be. I can’t tell you how many “social media marketers” I’ve met in the last year who have fewer than 500 Twitter followers, a lame and infrequently updated Facebook page and don’t have or contribute to a blog. It seems to me that they are merely frolicking in the new media community garden, armed with fertilizer they don’t know how to use and hoping that emerging and struggling businesses that are looking for ways to increase their brand visibility and sales volumes will be too ignorant to question their credibility.

Would you want to hire a landscaper whose own garden looks like hell? It’s wise to ask questions and do your research on a new media marketer when s/he approaches your business and offers to “set you up” with new media strategies. You would not want them to do more harm than good by spraying weed killer on your rose bushes! Take a good look at their own gardens before letting them run amok in yours.

Kat

Also, take a look at…

Thanks to my friend Jeff Urell for bringing Gauravonomics to my attention.

Zooming-Feet.Com : Scot Baston Photography

Archives, Photography 2 Responses »

May 122010

Check out my good friend Scot Baston’s stunning new photography site. Scot is shooting the world (and his beautiful corner of England) for your viewing pleasure.

Follow Scot on Twitter too @scotbaston. He’s a lot of fun and he’ll show you his photos if you show him yours!

Zooming-Feet.Com Home of Scot Baston Photography.

What would you do if you KNEW you could not fail?

Archives, Communications 13 Responses »

May 122010

What would you do if you knew you could not fail? I had that question hanging on a plaque over my desk for two years. Although I saw it daily, it was a year later that I finally read the word “knew.”

That one word significantly changed things for me as soon as I recognized the difference between the meaning I’d been reading and the actual words on the plaque. In my mind I had been skipping over the word knew. I read it as, “What would you do if you could not fail?” That’s very different from knowing in advance that not only will you not fail – but that you will succeed! That’s a powerful idea, isn’t it?

To know what success is you have to first define it. It’s different for everyone. Do you require fame, money, happiness, romantic love, a close family, or perhaps spiritual awakening to feel successful? What about self-determination?

At this stage in my life, success means being able to travel freely, write to my heart’s content, shoot my photographs, paint in the morning, enjoy good food and hang out with my friends anywhere and anytime I want to - all without worrying about how I will pay my bills or meet my responsibilities. I don’t really care if I sleep on my friend’s lumpy sofa in Rome – so long as while I am in Rome I have the freedom to explore, sample the exquisite cuisine, chat with friendly locals and spend a few days with my camera wandering the city and countryside. To me, that lifestyle translates into ultimate success. I know that I will have to work for it; but I would rather be earning a living doing the things that I truly love to do, and which inspire me, rather than to make lots of money doing things that I don’t enjoy or resent.

If I knew I could set out tomorrow for Italy, Greece and Turkey – and not worry that I would be stranded without money or run the risk of losing everything I’ve already created, I would be online now booking a flight to Rome. And therein lies the problem…

Fear.

Fear that everything will fall apart.

Fear of making wrong decisions.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of losing what I already have.

Fear of failure.

I used to think myself a pretty fearless person, and I was – before I had anything significant to lose. I wish I had followed my travel dreams before they got so far away from me. I bet some of you have had similar thoughts. Fear can be paralyzing.

When I started this blog, I vowed to myself to not discuss my divorce here because I didn’t want it to define me; but I have received so many lovely and thoughtful responses to the few lines I’ve written about my divorce experience, that I’ve decided to break my self-imposed silence on the subject. It is more important to be real with my readers. Apparently, there are a lot of other people out there who are in the midst of, or have gone through, a divorce situation themselves. So, here’s a bit about my story and why I remain hopeful and positive, despite the daily challenges. I hope that you will feel comfortable enough to share yours too.

When I moved out of the home that my husband and I shared last summer, I did so because I was thoroughly miserable and had been for several years. I had married a man nearly 12 years my senior who came from a very different cultural, religious and geo-political background than I. At first our differences were compelling. He taught me new things from his experiences and I taught him new things from mine. However, as the years went on, our differences became a chasm that could no longer be bridged. What’s more, as I got older I ceased to be his agreeable, amiable younger wife. I grew weary of agreeing to everything he wanted in order to keep peace at home. It took me a long time to realize just how much control over my own choices, career path and dreams I had relinquished to my husband. The more I gave up in the name of “maintaining harmony” between us, the more control he took. Finally, it became too much for me and I started to take some of myself back. That behavior created a lot of conflict between us. My husband had gotten accustomed to my deference to his decisions. He must have been wondering, “Who is this woman demanding that we spend a holiday with her family instead of with mine?” After all, we’d gone to Florida at least once, if not twice, a year to see his family over our fourteen years together. I couldn’t even get him to agree that I should attend a very important family funeral back in my hometown of Seattle. He generated a scenario that required one of us to be home the week of the funeral, and then he left town. I was stuck in Colorado and could only send my apologies and flowers to my family.

For several years, I kept pushing for more of an equal partnership in our marriage and he kept pushing back. It became a contentious and exhausting chess match – and he was a much better chess player than I. A mutual friend once asked my former husband why he so loved being a trial lawyer and his response was, “because I love to argue.” Well, that was for sure! I couldn’t even plan a simple dinner without having to justify every part of the meal; it’s cost, preparation and nutritional value. To get through even the simplest decisions, I had to make my opening statement, present evidence, bring in witnesses and make closing arguments. I know you may think I am exaggerating, but I assure you that was just the tip of the iceberg. Only trial lawyers should marry other trial lawyers – not people like me who hate to argue.

As my unhappiness and weariness increased, I spent more and more time alone or with friends and less and less time with my husband. One day I was browsing a bookstore with a girlfriend when I saw the plaque, “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” That was an excellent question that I felt I needed to seriously think about. I bought it and hung it above my desk. Every day for a year I asked myself that question – and every day I was gripped with the fear of making a dramatic change in my life. I feared the unknown. I feared failure.

Six months later, at the request of my Board of Directors, I dissolved the nonprofit agency I’d taken on as a Turnaround Specialist. Tough economic times had struck the U.S. and a sinking housing market had particularly hard hit Colorado. Because much of our state revenue was tied to a runaway housing boom, businesses and nonprofits were folding like newspaper tents caught in a hurricane. For a time, Colorado led the nation in home foreclosures and our economy was tanking (later to be led by Arizona, Nevada and Florida).

After having worked nearly nonstop since I was fifteen years old, I was suddenly out of work. With each unsuccessful job interview I grew more despondent. I was either overqualified for the position or an MBA was hired for the same job I’d previously held with my BA and having twelve years of nonprofit management experience. It didn’t seem to matter that I’d raised over $10 million grant dollars in my career or had successfully turned around 3 previously failing nonprofits. I lacked an MBA and that made me less competitive. So, I looked into going back to school for my MBA – that was until I discovered that the tuition alone was going to cost me nearly $50,000. I tried to get my husband to support my career change, but he refused and continued to interrogate me daily over the resumes I’d sent out and what job interviews I’d lined up. For over six years I had been earning the bulk of the household income and he simply wanted me to get back to work as soon as possible so we could return to our favorable standard of living. My unhappiness grew deeper.

One morning I was at my desk, preparing yet another batch of resumes and cover letters and I happened to look up at the plaque above my desk. I read it out loud and landed hard on the word “knew.” I thought about that for a while. “What if I was certain that I would succeed in regaining my happiness and self-determination if I were to leave my husband?” The next morning I started planning my break – at least that’s what it felt like: A prison break. I desperately needed to recognize that woman in the mirror again.

A year since deciding to make such a major life change, I am still officially “unemployed,” but working with a great group of interesting clients. I have only my car and a few pieces of furniture (although my estranged husband constantly threatens to take my car away, despite having promised it to me). I have lost my house, most of its contents, my hard-earned garden, my dog, and various other assets. I struggle every single month to make ends meet in a slowly improving economy. I go into court without a lawyer and face down an unprincipled trial lawyer who is doing everything in his power to make me pay for having left him. Recently, my tax return – which I had hoped would buy me a new camera – went to pay his unpaid back taxes instead. As an avid photographer, one of the most difficult things for me to be without is a decent camera – but I know that problem will eventually be solved. “Patience is a virtue,” they say, and I am a patient woman.

For years I was fearful of losing everything I’d worked so hard for – and I have surely sacrificed most of it in the interest of self-determination. I was fearful of the unknown; and yet I face the unknown every day. I was afraid of failing and making wrong decisions; and I’ve survived in spite of my many mistakes and failures. I’ve learned that nothing and no one is perfect; and so I let myself off the hook and do not expect perfection of myself, nor any one else. Life goes on despite the hardships we endure, which is why it is vitally important to welcome every new day knowing that even when you fail, you’ll survive the failure and come out the other side wiser than you were before. Eventually, mere survival gives way to living cheerfully and hopefully again. It is then that you will realize, as I have – even though my divorce battles rage on – that fear is just a four-letter word. “Fear” has no power, unless you give it power.

Everything in life has its cycle – the good stuff and the bad stuff comes and goes. What is true today may not be true tomorrow. I find a kind of liberation in knowing that unprejudiced truth. It has given me the courage to take advantage of new opportunities that present themselves, meet new people and explore more options. I know that if I miss one shot at the golden ring, the merry-go-round will spin by it again and I will have another chance. Something else will cycle through in place of missed opportunities. I just have to pay attention and keep trying to grab the ring as it comes my way again.

Namaste,

Kat

shortlink: http://bit.ly/brYjrW

The Power of Photography to Tell a Story

Archives, Art & Culture, Communications, Fundraising & Cause Marketing, Photography 2 Responses »

Apr 212010

Whether you’re a photographer, lover of great photography or simply admire the unique gifts of others, this 13-minute video is worth seeing… a powerful, moving and disturbing slideshow by Pulitzer Prize-winning photographer Renée Byer at TEDxTokyo. Make sure you’re sitting down.

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